Conversation starters

Whether you’re talking face-to-face or chatting through an app, breaking the ice on topics like status, testing, and safer sex can be difficult. Here are a few lines to get the conversation started.

Dating app conversations

• You neg, poz, undetectable?
• When were you last tested?
• I see you’re on PrEP. Condoms for anal?
• PrEP is cool, STDs aren’t. I use condoms for anal. Ok?
• I don’t have raw sex right away, even with guys on PrEP—want to stay out of the clinic. Is that a deal breaker?
• Condoms cool? If not, are you on PrEP? Undetectable?
• Looks like we’re a match sexually. Are you neg, poz, PrEP, undetectable?
• Need me to bring anything over? Condoms, lube?
• Vers here, neg on PrEP. You?

In-person conversations

• So are you on PrEP? I just want to know so we can figure out how this is all going to happen.
• We haven’t had a conversation about status. I’m positive and undetectable. Is that cool?
• Let’s talk about HIV. I’m negative and on PrEP. How about you?
• Can we talk about protection? I’m negative and prefer condoms for anal. You okay with that?
• I totally get you’re on PrEP, but I like to use condoms until I know someone better. I hope that’s not a deal breaker.