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Taking Care of Yourself

Everyone’s sexual health care needs are unique to them—but for all of us, sexual health goes beyond using protection and sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing. Good sexual health care also includes having a health care provider you can trust, knowing how to advocate for your needs, and feeling safe in your relationships. Find tips and resources for taking care of yourself and your partners.

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  • Experience matters: Having a health care provider who is experienced in caring for members of the LGBTQ+ community may help you get judgment-free care. To learn whether a specific health care provider could be a good fit for you, check out their profile on the health care organization’s website, or the profile on your health insurance provider directory if available. This profile can sometimes include information about the health care provider’s interests, expertise in sexual health, and experience in serving specific communities. It may even include information about how they identify.
  • Ask your friends: If people you know and trust have a good health care provider, health care center, or clinic that they know and trust, ask them for a recommendation.
  • Consult your medical/insurance providers: If you have health insurance, a member services or customer service representative may be able to offer advice and support on finding a health care provider that’s a great fit. You can also call or visit a potential health care provider’s office, which can help you get a better feel for what it’s like.
  • Talk with health care providers: Once you find a clinic or health care provider group, try to speak with a few providers on staff, if possible, so you can find a good fit.

Coming out can be tough in any circumstances and at any age, but it’s helpful to be out with your health care provider so they can provide relevant and helpful care that fits your needs. Health care providers don’t always ask patients about their sexual identity, so here are some tips to consider when sharing with your health care provider:

  • Look around: Not sure if it’s a safe space? You can look for signs at the front desk or at check-in, like posters or brochures that show that health care providers and/or the clinic welcomes members of the LGBTQ+ community.
  • Be simple and direct: Health care providers are used to straightforward conversations. You could say something like “FYI, I have sex with men,” or “My partner, Manuel, and I want to stop using condoms.”
  • Talk when and how you’re comfortable: You can share your sexuality whenever you’re ready—on the phone when making an appointment, before the visit begins, or as a part of whatever you’re there to discuss.

If you ever feel you’re not receiving the care you need in a safe and affirming environment, don’t hesitate to look for a new health care provider to meet your needs.

Find health care providers near you.

Talking with a health care provider about your sexual health can feel awkward, but it’s an important part of taking care of yourself. Preparing for your appointment can help you get the care that’s right for you. Be sure to ask about these topics, even if your health care provider doesn’t bring them up.

  • Immediate health concerns: If you’re not feeling well or have concerns about your health, it’s important to let your health care provider know. For example, if you feel pain or discomfort during sex or if there has been a change in your sexual function (like desire, erection, orgasm, or ejaculation), talk to your health care provider about your concerns.
  • Testing for HIV and sexually transmitted infections (STIs): You’ll want to ask about how frequently you should be tested, including testing for common STIs like gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis, or other conditions that can be spread through close contact like mpox, and what happens if you think you’ve been exposed to any of them.
  • HIV and STI prevention: You can also ask your health care provider about DoxyPEP, a medication that can prevent STIs after sex, and PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), a medication that can prevent HIV.
  • Vaccinations: Be sure to talk about getting vaccinated for Hep A, Hep B, and mpox, and whether you’re up to date on your flu, COVID, shingles, and pneumonia vaccines. If you’re 26 or younger, it’s important to ask about the HPV vaccine, too. Learn more about vaccine recommendations.
  • If you’re HIV-positive: Your health care provider can help you maintain an undetectable viral load (when the amount of HIV in your body is very low) to keep you healthy and protect your partners. Talk to your health care provider about how often you should have your viral load and T cells tested. The frequency will depend on how long you’ve been on medication. PrEP and PEP are also medications that can keep your HIV-negative partners from getting HIV, so be sure to talk to your health care provider about those. Learn more about PrEP and PEP, and living with HIV.
  • If you’re HIV-negative: Be sure to talk about testing for HIV and getting or staying on PrEP. You can also discuss taking PEP if you’ve been exposed to HIV in the past 72 hours.
  • Alcohol and drugs: Talking with your health care provider about substance use is important. Your health care provider can help you care for yourself and your partners, and if needed, connect you to services that can help.
  • Depression and anxiety: Did you know that depression and anxiety impact the LGBTQ+ community at a higher rate than the rest of the population? If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, your health care provider can offer resources and/or referrals to mental health providers experienced in working within the LGBTQ+ community to help you get the care you need.
  • Anal, colon, and prostate cancer: Annual screenings for anal, colon, and prostate cancer are recommended for men and people assigned male at birth who are over 40. Tell your health care provider if you have a family history of these cancers, or if you’ve had warts on your penis or in your throat or anus. Depending on your health history, you may be at a higher risk for developing prostate, testicular, colon, or other types of cancer, and your health care provider may recommend screenings earlier based on your family or personal history. If you bottom, you can also ask your health care provider about getting an anal Pap smear, which tests for signs of anal cancer.

Sexual health is just one part of your overall health.

You can find additional trusted resources for mental health, health insurance, chronic disease, and aging through the Massachusetts Department of Public Health’s directory of LGBTQ+ health resources.

The Massachusetts Substance Use Helpline offers info and resources about alcohol and drug use treatment. Visit the site or call (800) 327-5050.

The Fenway Health Violence Recovery Program provides free counseling and advocacy to the LGBTQ+ community.

SAGE Advocacy & Services for LGTBQ+ Elders has resources for LGBTQ+ aging.

Below are health systems or directories of LGBTQ+ friendly health care providers.

Additionally, the Health Care Equality Index is an interactive directory featuring more than 1,600 LGBTQ+-friendly health care facilities throughout the United States. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) evaluated the facilities using various criteria, such as non-discrimination, staff training, and patient services and support. These facilities may or may not be covered by your insurance, so be sure to ask before receiving care.

If you are having a mental health crisis or just need to talk to someone, there are hotlines where you can get help:

988 Lifeline has free and confidential support, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call or text 988, or chat online.

LGBT National Coming Out Support Hotline
888-OUT-LGBT (888-688-5428)

LGBT National Help Center
Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743
Senior Hotline: 888-234-7243
Monday thru Friday, 4pm to midnight ET; Saturday from noon to 5pm ET

Trevor Project
Phone: 1-866-488-7386
Text START to 678-678
Chat online
LGBTQ+ young people can connect to a crisis counselor 24/7/365 from anywhere in the U.S. It is 100% confidential and 100% free.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse or violence from an intimate partner, find culturally relevant, trauma-informed advocacy and support services near you.

If you have experienced sexual assault, find hotlines and rape crisis centers near you.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

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Logo: Care That Fits You

Logo: Massachusetts Department of Public health
Brought to you by Massachusetts Department of Public Health Copyright © 2026