There are many ways to show you care about your sexual partners, including talking openly about things like getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), HIV status, and safer sex, and helping them get sexual health services if needed.
Talking to your partners about safer sex can be awkward, but try starting with a simple question like, “Hey, can we talk about safer sex? It’s really important to me.” Just met someone new? No matter how you communicate—face-to-face, texting, or chatting online—start with info you might already have, like, “I see by your profile that you’re on PrEP.” If you feel strongly about something, put it out there: “I’m undetectable but I still like to use condoms.”
Have you talked about HIV and STI testing with your partners yet? Questions like “How often do you get tested?” or, “Where do you get tested?” are two good ways to start the conversation.
The CDC recommends that all gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men get tested for HIV and other STIs at least once annually as part of their routine checkup. If you’re having sex and are not in a mutually monogamous sexual relationship, it’s a good idea to get tested more frequently (every three to six months), especially if you’ve had sex without a condom. Search for testing sites near you.
If you’ve tested positive for an STI, see our tips for how to tell your partner, including using the Partner Services Program if you need support in telling your partners.
Not everyone thinks about protection in the same way, so be sure to bring up methods you and your partners use to protect yourselves. Your shared experience will be better if you both feel safe and comfortable. Even if you or your partners are on PrEP, it won’t protect you from getting STIs, so be sure to talk to your partners about using condoms before getting into the heat of the moment.
PrEP
Have you and your partners talked about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP)? It’s a medication that significantly lowers the chances of getting HIV through sex. PrEP must be prescribed by a health care provider and you must be HIV-negative before—and while—taking it. Find PrEP near you.
PEP and DoxyPep
Do you and your partners know what to do if the condom breaks or if you have sex without a condom?
If you believe you have been exposed to HIV, post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) is a medicine that can prevent HIV within 72 hours of possible high-risk exposure. PEP must be prescribed by a provider and is meant to be used in emergency situations.
DoxyPep is a medicine that can help prevent other STIs like syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea after condomless sex. It works best if taken within 24 hours of having condomless oral, anal, or vaginal sex, and no later than 72 hours (three days) after.
If you’re in an ongoing relationship, revisit conversations about sexual health—including testing, status, and protection—every few months or as circumstances change.
Find low- to no-cost sexual health services near you, like PrEP, STI testing, and more on the Service Locator Map.
PrEP is a medication that helps prevent HIV. Take a short quiz to find out if it may be right for you.